Loose ends

I have my flaws like any other person out there. One of the flaws I've tried to work on is to do a better job at giving people second chances. When I say second chances, this isn't some sort of judgment from up above declaring mercy or charity, but rather I give myself a second chance to reconsider if I have been in the wrong in reacting to another person's actions. Yes, I realize this is playing a tightrope act with the concept, but considering second chances helps me gain perspective about other people and, more important, how I think. If I have a better understanding about how I think and react to those thoughts, I can revise them in a positive fashion.

In the past, I have cut ties completely with past girlfriends or serious interests because lingering on is a painful process. One ex-interest has been staunch in her ability to attempt to maintain contact with me in an attempt to be friends. This has been, for the most part, unhealthy. There's really no other way to describe it.

I was extremely cautious about interaction, wondering if the intention was genuine for friendship or if there was something else at play. Something else was at play.

Why do I think this?

* Endless references to going on vacation with me to traditionally recognized romantic getaway locations.
* Flirtatious talk directed towards me.
* Talk about how our relationship used to be.
* Unceasing directed comments on how I will not "forgive" her for the relationship.

Now, let me be straight. I have said this type of talk makes me feel very uncomfortable and I am not interested in her in an intimate fashion anymore. She goes on, ignoring my remarks. I have communicated that whenever she talks flirtatiously or remarks about visits or vacations, it, again, makes me feel very uncomfortable. She continues, thinking that we have not lost a beat and there is no sense in working and building up a friendship. In other words, there are no broken bridges to mend and we should get along as "friends" in blissful ignorance of unworked out issues. Did I mention she tends to get in contact with me frequently after an ended relationship of her own?

I'm being an idiot.

I've decided to cut that shit off at the pass. I am not without blame, but she was and continues to be a emotional vampire in my life, attempting to gain self-worth through me and my past interest. Well, no more. It's over. Cut the cord. I will not have that negativity in my life any longer.