Anger

Over the past 10-15 years, I have had a lot of anger in my life. I'm not big into spirituality, but I think there is something to be said from an emotional standpoint for observing life with a sense of positive energy. This isn't to say that I would be comfortable with being a tree-hugger, hippie or straying completely away from my cynical realism. It's important to doubt and question. It allows me to think. It allows me to question to change what I think.

I spend a lot of time being angry with myself, or better stated disappointed with myself over what I have yet to accomplish. I think this anger stems from both internal and external sources. I get angry when I think other people break my internal code of morality - violating a worldview that exists in my mind which contains a policy of justice and fairness. The conflict arises when other people do not share this worldview. That isn't to say I get furious at others who disagree with my ideas, but when the conflict stretches to a point of being offensive, it makes my blood boil. The irrationality of anger is powerful, affecting myself and those around me in both positive and negative ways. Yes, anger can be a force for positive change. The problem is when anger is a force for negative change. That type of anger should be more controlled, but I am unable to do so sometimes and I get most disappointed with myself as a result.

I do not have much positive energy in me although I am trying to change that. This is not an easy task.